Feeling Free // My Healing Process
A few years ago I was experiencing a lot of negative self talk which led to doubt, disappointment, and generally negative opinions about myself. I spent a lot of time just being sad and discouraged, and many nights were spent in tears. Even though that was a very personal trial, that most people in my life didn't even see, it was reflected in my day to day experiences and my physical well-being. The year where most of this took place, ended with an experience that left me feeling exhausted and heart broken. It was the perfect metaphorical cherry on top of the bitter ice cream sundae. And yet... it was also the catalyst for change that I so desperately needed.
At this point I moved across the country (many of you may now be figuring out the timeline here). I needed change, and for me it literally took taking myself out of the comfortable and negative-enabling atmosphere, and placing me somewhere completely new and unknown. Here I was able to start over, to take the time to fix myself from the inside out. It started slowly, but as soon as I had figured out the formula, the change happened practically overnight.
I began the process by only spending time with people I truly loved and who loved me- unconditionally. I started working on embracing my physical appearance- in its natural state. I wanted to love myself without makeup, hair dye, eyelash extensions, and all of the things I had felt I
needed
to be beautiful. But the most important detail to my healing process was spiritual. I spent a lot of my time reading/listening to talks given by leaders of
, I wrote in my journal, I prayed- a lot, I read the scriptures, and I avoided all negative media content- including movies, music, Facebook posts, etc.
Then, my sister introduced me to Kundalini Yoga. It was something she had been practicing for a few years, and she knew that there was a real and healing power that came with the practice of it. I began listening to
where a couple members of the same church as me explain the practice of Kundalini Yoga in a way that ties everything I believe together. I then started my own meditation practice and the healing was almost instantaneous. It took my faith, and the things that I knew to be true, including the Atonement of our Savior, and applied them in a real and physical way. It was like taking a dose of the most potent medicine that delivers almost immediate results.
At this point I was feeling like a completely different person, and that feeling has lasted, and will continue to last. I handle stressful situations without feeling like the world is ending, I don't fear the future, I love every bit of the past, and I am able to center myself in the present and savor the day to day. If it hadn't been for those bitter experiences that drove me to change, I wouldn't be enjoying or understanding the sweet life that is offered freely to all who are humble enough to partake. I now understand who I am, and the potential of what I can become. I understand my own power to create- not just life (literally) or arts and crafts, but the power to adjust the circumstances around me. My outlook on life, mortal and eternal, has shifted. I can see a bit more of the big picture, I know where I came from, and where I'm going, and there is peace in that.
As I mentioned above, one part of my healing process was physical. I stopped wearing so much makeup, and sometimes I don't wear any at all. But of course, I still take care of my skin and the company that has really made embracing my natural skin possible is
. I can't adequately express how much I love this skincare line and the difference it has made in the overall health of my skin. Their formulas are created in small batches, with all natural ingredients harvested from the resilient and nutrient-rich plants in the desert of Southern Utah, ensuring that each and every product is fresh, pure, and of the highest quality. I have absolutely loved every single item I've tried, from their
to their
(pictured above).
For those of you who feel sad, lonely, or downright hopeless, know that there is strength and healing available to you. Join my mission with
and feel free to reach out if you need insight or want to learn more about Kundalini Yoga or
. For those who want to embrace their natural selves and be confident in their own skin, know that it starts from the inside out. And when you reach the outside,
is there to add the finishing touches.